Pictures & Memories.
Tonight and for the past couple of days I have done nothing but stay so depressed to the point that I have not even had an appetite, I guess you could say that part of the reason for my depression is because my 20th Birthday, (Yes I feel old), is right around the corner. Now most almost 20 year olds are excited for their birthday's and excited to embark on a new journey as they put an end to the teenage year chapter of their life and start a new one into their twenties, however for me though this is not the case why you may ask? You're growing up you should be happy you get to expirence more things, well the answer to your question of why is because my dad isn't here to see me close this chapter of my life and start a new one.
Most people say "Well Hayley, you can't grieve yourself to death for the rest of your life because of his passing." They tend to forget I was a child then and I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to with him, almost every single thing I do reminds me of him now is this the only reason I've been depressed for the past two days? No but it's the biggest part of it.
So so tonight I was outside on the porch just thinking and my mom was inside in her room looking through pictures, and she walks outside and brings me a photo album and in that photo album was the two pictures you see above, one is a photo of my dad and I at the NFL Tampa Bay Buccaneers Football Field in Tampa, FL. The next picture is of my dad pulling myself and my cousin Brandon In a red wagon. I saw those pictures tonight and immediately became emotional, because I was taken back to those times I enjoyed so much.
I'd give anything to hear him say "keep your head up, daddy loves you baby", one more time.
Save my spot "see ya later alligator."
If you don't understand the "see ya later alligator" reference my dad would leave for work every morning and when I got up to get ready for school, before mom would drive me to school I'd call him at work and we'd talk until mom finished her makeup and when we got ready to hang up he'd say "see ya later alligator" and I'd say see ya after while crocodile," then we'd say I love ya and hang up.
Simple things like like that is things I'll remember and hold close to my heart for the rest of my days.
Please keep me in your prayers!!!
Most people say "Well Hayley, you can't grieve yourself to death for the rest of your life because of his passing." They tend to forget I was a child then and I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to with him, almost every single thing I do reminds me of him now is this the only reason I've been depressed for the past two days? No but it's the biggest part of it.
So so tonight I was outside on the porch just thinking and my mom was inside in her room looking through pictures, and she walks outside and brings me a photo album and in that photo album was the two pictures you see above, one is a photo of my dad and I at the NFL Tampa Bay Buccaneers Football Field in Tampa, FL. The next picture is of my dad pulling myself and my cousin Brandon In a red wagon. I saw those pictures tonight and immediately became emotional, because I was taken back to those times I enjoyed so much.
I'd give anything to hear him say "keep your head up, daddy loves you baby", one more time.
Save my spot "see ya later alligator."
If you don't understand the "see ya later alligator" reference my dad would leave for work every morning and when I got up to get ready for school, before mom would drive me to school I'd call him at work and we'd talk until mom finished her makeup and when we got ready to hang up he'd say "see ya later alligator" and I'd say see ya after while crocodile," then we'd say I love ya and hang up.
Simple things like like that is things I'll remember and hold close to my heart for the rest of my days.
Please keep me in your prayers!!!